


Draco's Choice

by Emanning13



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama & Romance, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-12-01 19:07:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20869664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emanning13/pseuds/Emanning13
Summary: Draco has difficulty with returning for his eighth year. He knows he's in love with Harry, but can he hide his feelings forever?





	Draco's Choice

**Author's Note:**

> Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing and receive no money for this!

Draco was free. Well not completely, but he wasn’t going to Azkaban and that felt as free as he was going to get. He had to go back and receive his NEWTs. Thanks to Harry and his testimony, the only thing he had to do was that and have a monitoring spell on his wand for a year, then they would re-evaluate at the end of that year, with good behavior he would be cleared of all charges. He was free because Harry Potter had defended him. The man whom he’d been in love with for years. He had hidden his feelings under anger, hatred, and disgust. When truthfully all he wanted to do was be his friend. When he was painfully aware he wanted so much more than that. He buried his feelings deep to never be found again. He hidden them because if someone knew about them, his life might be in danger. He tried to get over them, but he failed. Now he would never see him again. He would get the chance to truly move on and get over him. He hoped that he would at least. He had a plan: go back to Hogwarts, finish his NEWTs, keep his head down, stay out of trouble, be able to be reintegrated in society, follow the rules the Wizengamot set, and then go on to get his healer’s license. Then he would be able to live his life how he envisioned it. Not by what his father wanted or what his mother wanted, but what he wanted to do. He decided that after all the hurt and damage in the world that he wanted to be one of the ones fixing and healing it, not harming it. That is why he wanted to be a healer.

On the train he sat with the only other Slytherin coming back that year, Blaise. Theo and Pansy were getting tutoring at home because of being on house arrest. Greg went to Durmstrung. He and Blaise decided to keep their heads down. They were there for one reason only. They had to obtain their NEWTs. The vowed to themselves, each other and the Wizengamot that they would be on their best behavior. It helped having monitors on their wands controlling what kind of magic they could use and when. He stared out the window watching the world go by. Reaching Hogsmeade station, they quietly got off the train and boarded carriage towards the castle. They didn’t talk. Once inside the Great Hall, Blaise and Draco sat together at the Slytherin table. They stuck together. They kept their eyes down casted. Draco barely registered what the Headmistress was saying. He knew about the eighth year dormitory and that they would all be going to class together, but could still eat at their perspective tables. He didn’t care. He just wanted to get through the year. He just focused on the table in front of him. He didn’t hear the sorting hat’s song, or all the names that were called out for the sorting. Finally, when the sorting was over, food appeared in front of them. Draco quickly grabbed himself a small plate of food and ate it slowly. They had to stay after anyway to be led to their new common room for the eighth years. He didn’t mind sharing with the other houses, at least they all got their own rooms. He noticed the black mop of hair and stood shocked. Harry was there. He was hot. He filled out, he was no longer a skinny, scrawny kid. Oh merlin, he was fucked! He couldn’t believe it. He thought Harry would take the open position to go straight into training to become an Auror. Well, it didn’t matter because Draco was there to focus on his studies. He hoped he could just focus enough with Harry in his classes. Blaise noticed that he had frozen and was staring and coughed slightly. Draco looked at him and nodded in thanks. Blaise knew of his pathetic crush. Pansy used to tease him mercilessly about it. Glad Blaise was not like that and Pansy wasn’t here to see it, he focused back on McGonagall who was talking about letting go of the past and joining together under the bond of surviving the war. She also explained there would be no alcohol as they were still students, but could be out until Midnight. They were led to the East Wing Tower, where there dorms were going to be.

In class Draco kept his head down. He focused on learning and getting the NEWTs he needed to be a healer. He worked hard. Several students would taunt and bully him. He ignored most of it. He couldn’t really fight back. He wasn’t able to. Most days, him and Blaise bonded together and didn’t really go anywhere without the other present. There were a few students who tried to hex them too, and when Blaise showed up bloody having missed classes and meals, Draco decided to go with him everywhere. They didn’t want to make waves or make things worse, so they kept quiet about it. They just tried to leave early or go late to places, trying to avoid crowds. Draco missed Quidditch, but had more time to focus on his studies. He spent a lot of his time in the library. He found himself depressed and wanting to end his life. The days where he had nightmares about the war were the worst. It went on for months like this. Study, class, eat, and keep his head down. That was the plan. He stuck to the plan.

Until the plan changed.

It changed because of Harry Potter, who annoyingly noticed how depressed Draco had gotten. When he returned from the holidays, Harry worked hard to help Draco out. He started to sit next to him class, and silently help him in DADA. Draco returned the favor in Potions. Draco was slowly coming out of his funk, with Harry’s help. They became friends over time. They studied together and talked about all things including the war, which was difficult but they got through it. Harry started to protect Draco and even Blaise from the bullying that was going on. Draco started to trust Harry. Draco’s feelings for Harry started bubbling up again. He started having trouble concentrating in class. Harry had a habit of sucking on his quills or sticking his tongue out the side of his mouth when he was concentrating. Draco also watched him eat during meals, and the way he ate treacle tart was deliciously sinful. He was very thankful for robes that covered intimate places, less he got embarrassed or was stuck in awkward situations with a hard on during these times. He imagined Harry on his knees in front of him sucking him off, Draco face fucking him into oblivion, or letting Harry face fuck him. He was starting to have wet dreams all featuring Harry Potter, most of them were ones where Harry had caught Draco wanking in the showers, and stepped up behind him, gruffly turning Draco to face him, lifting Draco, pinning him against the shower wall and fucking him hard and fast. He would wake up hard and aching or with sticky sheets. He was glad to have his own room to avoid any teasing about it.

He was so sexually frustrated. He wanted Harry Potter badly. He just couldn’t have him. He would keep his friendship, but it couldn’t become more than that. He had to keep Harry at a distance. What would his friends say if they heard about his feelings? Not that Harry would ever return them. He just was afraid someone would hex him to death or actual kill him because of it. He also didn’t want the Prophet to make up lies about their non-relationship. They would not be happy with the former death eater defiling their savior. That would not do. He couldn’t ruin Harry like that. So he buried his feelings so much deeper this time. He vowed that he could get laid after he graduated and was free. He still needed the Wizengamot to approve of his freedom. He didn’t think sleeping around or even being with Harry would help him. He was pretty sure it would hurt him in the long run.

He could do this. There was only a month left. He could get through it. He had to focus on his NEWTs then he would truly be free once the Wizengamot saw that he did what he was asked. He had to do well on his NEWTs if he wanted to get into Healer’s training. He knew it would be difficult, but it was what he wanted.

He was thankful that Harry so oblivious to his staring and to his feelings. He was also thankful to Blaise who would snap him out of his thoughts to get him back to work or stop him from chocking on his food. Blaise kept him from losing control. He made sure he helped Blaise whenever he needed it as well.

Draco started to ignore and avoid Harry. It wouldn’t do if he lost control and slammed Harry against the wall and snogged him for dear life. He couldn’t let on how he felt for the brunette. He had to forget and move on. He had to. He had to do it for Harry’s own good. Even if they were friends now, it had to end.

He steered clear of Harry for the rest of term. It was difficult because they shared a common room and classes. But he always left class as fast as he could, getting to class late, so he could stay far away from Harry. He also stayed in his room studying most of the time. They had to focus on their NEWTs anyway. They were only days away. He took his free time to go over notes and read everything they went over in his books again and again. He was not going to fail. He was going to show the Wizengamot that they couldn’t hold him back. His court date was set for two days after his last NEWT exam. They would know the results of them by then. If he did well, and got word of Draco’s good behavior Draco would be redeemed and let free of his probation. He would be able to put in application to become a healer, he would be able to find someone to fuck him so he could get over Harry. He could move on.

His NEWTs were over. Thank goodness. He was done. It was official. He figured he did everything he could at this point. McGonagall even looked approvingly at him during meal times.

When he stepped into the courtroom, he was nervous, but he didn’t want to show that to the Wizengamot. He held his head high.

They went over his NEWTs results and comments from the professors that they gathered for his behavior. He knew there was nothing there. He tightened his jaw. They wouldn’t be able to fault him because he was on his best behavior. He did nothing wrong. He waited patiently for them to come to a verdict on him. He had gotten enough NEWTs to fill out an application to become healer, he was happy, now he had to wait and see what the Wizengamot decided. His fate was in their hands.

Cleared. He was cleared of all charges. He was shocked, but so grateful. He wasn’t going to waste his chance. They took the monitoring charm off of his wand, he gripped and reveled in the feeling of having his full power of magic restored to him. “Thank you Wizengamot. I am so very grateful. I will not disappoint you. I hope to make you all proud and not regretful of your decision here today.” Draco said.

He got back to Hogwarts and celebrated with Blaise, who also got his monitoring charm taken off. They went around doing silly spells, lightening up the spirits of all around them.

Harry cornered him two days before the end of the year feast.

“Why have you been avoiding me? Don’t try to lie to me, I know you have.” Harry accused.

Draco gulped. He hoped to avoid this conversation. He didn’t know what to say to him. He still wanted to be friends with him. Well, he wanted more than that, but that would never happen, so he resigned himself to just being friends with Harry. “I had to focus on my NEWTs. It was important to me that I did well. I had to show the Wizengamot they didn’t have an excuse to throw me in Azkaban.”

“Wow Draco, I had no idea. I thought you didn’t want to be my friend anymore or something like that.” Harry said.

“That would never happen, Harry. I am sorry I have been avoiding you. I have been awful friend. Please let’s rectify that.” Draco vowed.

“Anything.” Harry said.

Draco had to be careful, because if he was honest Harry would definitely turn on him now. “It’s up to you, I’m the one who needs to atone for being a horrible friend.”

“True.” Harry said.

Draco could imagine many different scenarios. Most of them involving Harry’s mouth or his cock. Draco shook himself. He waited for Harry to come up with something.

“Come to Hogsmeade with me, have a butterbeer and we will call it even.” Harry said.

“That’s it? You want me to come to Hogsmeade with you and buy you a butterbeer? And all will be forgiven?” Draco asked. It was too good to be true.

“Yep.” Harry said smiling.

Draco shrugged. “Alright.”

So they trudged to Hogsmeade and spent time in shops buying a few things. Then they stopped at Hogshead for a butterbeer. Draco didn’t like going to The Three Broomsticks because of what he did to Madame Rosmerta. Hogshead was weird but after apologizing to Aberforth for allowing death eaters into the castle, ending in Albus Dumbledore’s death, who didn’t blame Draco for his part in it all, it wasn’t so bad. They had a few butterbeers that Draco paid for and chatted about what they were going to do after they went home. Draco told Harry about becoming a healer. Harry said he was going to work with the DADA professor next year and learn to be one for the following year after that. Harry said he was done chasing the bad guys. He didn’t want to put his life on the line anymore.

They went back to the dorm and Draco went to sleep with his mind clear. He was glad he made it. He did what he set out to do. His plan was fulfilled. But was he happy? He wasn’t. He couldn’t be. Not without Harry by his side. That made him incredibly sad. What was he going to do? He wasn’t brave. He didn’t have the guts to pour out his feelings to him. There was no time left. They were leaving in two days.

He went outside to sit by the lake and think. He couldn’t breathe. He needed the air. Why wasn’t anything simple? Why did it always have to be Harry Potter? He was so screwed.

Harry came and found him. He sat down next to him.

“Hey.” He greeted him.

“Hey.” He greeted back.

“So, what’s up?” Harry asked.

“Just thinking. We no longer have to be here after tomorrow. It’s weird.” Draco replied.

“That’s not everything is it?” Harry asked.

Draco was surprised he noticed. “You’re right. I didn’t think you of all people would notice. I guess I must be really obvious.”

“Hey! I notice things.” Harry weakly defended.

Draco chuckled at him. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“Come on, tell me what it is. We’re friends remember?” Harry pleaded.

‘Yeah just friends’ he thought darkly. “There’s this guy that I like, and I know he’d never like me back. I just got sad. It doesn’t matter because I won’t ever see him again after tomorrow.” Draco answered.

“Why don’t you just tell him how you feel?” Harry asked.

“I’m not a Gryffindor like you Harry. I’m a Slytherin. We don’t do brave. We don’t show our feelings. We are cowards, and we protect ourselves from everything.” Draco replied.

“You don’t want to live with regrets and look back and ask yourself what if? I say you should go for it.” Harry said.

“That’s because you are a Gryffindor.” Draco admonished. “You charge into things without thinking. You are brave. You aren’t scared of anything.”

“Draco, being brave isn’t doing something because you aren’t scared of it, it’s doing something you think is the right thing even when you are scared.” Harry replied.

“I just can’t. He would hate me. I couldn’t face rejection, especially from him. I’m in love with him. It would hurt too much. I would rather have his friendship than nothing.” Draco said.

“You’d give up the chance for true happiness, for staying friends. That I don’t understand Draco.” Harry said.

“You wouldn’t.” Draco muttered.

“Why can’t you just tell them? Please Draco. Let me help. Tell me who it is. I can help you.” Harry ranted.

“No.” Draco replied. Harry could never know. He would hate him. He would murder him. It would do nothing good.

“Cooome ooon, Dracooo. Pleeease?” Harry begged.

“No. Just leave it Harry!” Draco yelled.

“Why can’t you tell him?” Harry asked again.

“Oh Merlin! If I tell you will you leave me alone?” Draco asked.

“Yes.” Harry replied quickly.

“Fine.” Draco took a deep breath. Nope, he couldn’t do it. Not with Harry staring at him like that. He chickened out. “I can’t I’m sorry. I just... ugh it hurts too much. Please don’t make me tell you.”

Harry looked disappointed and disheartened. “O-okay.” He sighed.

After the feast, Draco sat with Blaise on the train ride home. Blaise interrogated him about what happened and had already laid into him about not telling Harry how he felt. Draco told him to leave it. They went home and moved on.

Draco went on become a great healer. He never married. He still loved Harry. He never got over him.

OR….

“Fine.” Draco took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He couldn’t look at Harry as he confessed this part. “I’m in love with you. I have been for years. I know nothing will come of it. I would never try anything. I just needed to tell you. Well, you wouldn’t let it go, and I just gave in.”

The silence was deafening. He finally took a chance to look at Harry. Harry was just blankly staring at him gaping like a goldfish. The silence was killing him.

“Please say something Harry!” Draco yelled. He already knew the response would be rejection or repulse.

Harry continued to stare and gape. “You- you love me?”

“Yes.” Draco replied.

“Seriously? This whole time?” Harry asked.

“Yes. I’m sorry, I will just go now. Have a nice life Harry.” Draco said, starting to get up realizing that Harry was angry with him about it.

“Wait! Don’t go. Please Draco. You didn’t give me a chance to respond.” Harry said.

Draco stopped. “Alright Harry.” He turned back towards Harry staring at the ground.

“Please look at me.” Harry demanded.

Draco looked up, unshed tears in his eyes. “Just let me down easy Harry.”

“Oh Draco, I love you too. I can’t believe this is happening right now. I am so happy. I am just angry because we could have been together for months, but we were both too stubborn to tell each other how we felt.” Harry said.

“No you don’t. This isn’t funny Harry.” Draco cried. Harry must have been joking with him. He couldn’t mean what he said. He waited for the laughter and the ‘Ha! Gotchya!’ It never came.

“I’m not joking Draco. I would never lie to you. I love you. Please believe me.” Harry pleaded.

Draco took a real look at him. He couldn’t believe the truth in Harry’s eyes. He had to trust what Harry was saying. He couldn’t believe his luck. “I believe you.” He breathed.

“Thank Merlin!” Harry said. “What now?”

“There are a lot of things I want…” Draco replied blushing.

“Right now?” Harry asked.

“I’d like to snog you and make you my boyfriend.” Draco said.

Harry smiled and stepped closer to Draco. They were nose to nose. Draco’s heart started beating faster. His breath was quick too. Harry tilted his head up and Draco stared in disbelief. Harry finally took the last step and crashed his lips against Draco’s. Draco was shocked at first, but responded quickly, molding his lips to Harry’s. Harry buried his hands in Draco’s hair. Draco pulled him closer. Their bodies completely flush against each other. It was heaven. They deepened the kiss. Harry’s tongue flicked out against Draco’s lip asking for entrance. Draco opened his mouth letting Harry explore it. It was hot, passionate, and everything was just right. It was like coming home. It was sunshine, and fire. It was perfect. Draco’s body felt like it was tingling all over. He moaned into Harry’s mouth. Harry groaned back. They finally parted and smiled at each other.

“Be my boyfriend Draco?” Harry asked.

“Of course Harry.” Draco replied.

After the feast Draco and Harry spent time exploring each other’s mouths. They couldn’t stop snogging. Draco was so glad he finally told Harry how he felt. They rode the train home together. They spent the summer visiting each other.

Draco became a great healer. Harry became the new DADA professor at Hogwarts. They got married and lived happily ever after.


End file.
